The Mist (54 words)

Sci-Fi Channel original movie at it’s finest; except this is not a Sci-Fo Channel movie but one that somehow managed to be released in theatres nationwide. The Mist is poorly written and poorly acted (but does have surprisingly good effects). The movie is not thrilling, it is stupid. It is not suspenseful, it is clichéd.

Prime (60 words)

Prime shows that a relationship with an age gap will not work. Even when there is a connection on every human level (physical, emotional, mental), when his parents accept her age, you will fight about something vague and unexplained. The relationship will end. A year later you will see her, smile and walk away. Why? Because the screenwriter is a dick.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (59 words)

Crystal Skull fails to engage. The characters are never in any real peril and the quest doesn’t deliver mysteries and surprises. Thankfully the film steers away from in-jokes and self-references, aside from a few touches at the start. As a straight action/adventure flick, Crystal Skull is pretty decent but as a part of the larger Indiana Jones canon, it’s subpar.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (19 words)

It’s like a Harry Potter villains reunion. Bellatrix, Snape and Wormtail. Also? Decent singing. Also? Bloody. Really, very bloody.

Stranger Than Fiction (58 words)

Sometimes I can tell if I’m going to love a movie from just the first few minutes. Stranger Than Fiction is one of those movies. The impeccable onscreen graphics and music got me. Will Ferrell turns in a performance that proves he can do more than slapstick comedy. An unconventional way to tell a love story. Perfect.

Transformers (2007) (59 words)

As a child of the 80s, I approached Michael Bay’s Transformers with more than a little hesitation. Surprisingly, the movie was better than I expected. I have gripes that only another fanboy could understand (character design, story elements) but this movie is leaps and bounds better than the director’s last effort. Incredibly, the humor was smart and it entertained.